Your Psychologist is Like a Good Bra — Find a Supportive One That Fits

Finding the right psychologist is a lot like dating — sometimes magical, often awkward, occasionally disappointing. Some people meet their “perfect match” right away. Me? It took seven. That’s right. Seven breakups, seven intake forms, and seven rounds of “So tell me why you’re here today?” before I found the one.

How I Found “The One” — aka Psych #7

At first, I stuck to psychologists near me. Convenience seemed like the logical place to start. But I quickly realised that location doesn’t always mean compatibility. So I cast the net wider — thank you, telehealth!

Instead of searching “psychologist near me,” I searched for my actual issues: “family boundaries,” “people pleasing,” “mental load burnout.” That’s when I found a psychologist whose blog posts read my soul. Her writing style, her values, the way she described problems — it all clicked. So I booked a session. She turned out to be my best psychologist ever.

Meanwhile, my husband had a different route. He used a matching service — some larger clinics offer these to help pair you with a psychologist based on your needs. Sometimes this looks like a short intake call or just a really clued-in receptionist who knows the team well. Worth asking about.

It’s OK to Break Up with Your Psychologist

Just like some friendships don’t last forever, not every psychologist will be your forever-fit — and that’s totally OK. You might outgrow a psych, or they might specialise in one thing and not the next chapter you’re navigating. I worked with one amazing psychologist for a couple of years — she helped me uncover my ADHD and connected me with the psychiatrist who diagnosed it. After that, I transitioned to working with an ADHD coach for 10 months. When new issues came up recently, I checked in with my old psychologist to see if she could support me again. She could, and now we’re back at it.

My husband’s journey was different. His first psychologist was great at first, but after a year and a half, the psych started expressing some very strong opinions — including some unsolicited advice about us not wanting children. Yikes. That was the moment my husband knew: it was time to move on. He used another matching service, found someone aligned with his next set of goals, and has been happily therapising for 10 months now.

How Do You Know If They’re the Right Fit?

Honestly? You often know by the end of the first session. Not in a “this person fixed my life” way, but in a “this feels safe, respectful, and useful” kind of way. If you’re new to therapy, give it 1–3 sessions before deciding — unless you hear red flags. (Trust me, I ignored too many of those early on.)

With my current care team — including my psychologist, ADHD coach, physio, and dietitian — I knew by the end of session one that they were keepers. I even started recently seeing a psychologist who understands Ehlers-Danlos Syndrome (EDS), and in the very first session we set meaningful goals together. That kind of confidence, clarity, and collaboration? That’s the good stuff.

Final Thoughts

• Don’t settle. The right psychologist can change your life. The wrong one might make you dread every appointment.

• It’s normal to “outgrow” your therapist. Needs change, and your psych should grow with you — or it’s OK to thank them and move on.

• Therapy isn’t a solo act. Sometimes it’s just one piece of the puzzle. You may need medical input, diagnosis, coaching, or peer support alongside it.

• Yes, therapy is expensive. If you're priced out of it right now, check out this for affordable mental health support options in Australia.