At last count, I’ve seen over 25 specialists. Some were dismissive, others condescending — a few downright dangerous. Here’s what I’ve learned about dealing with doctors who think they’re the smartest person in the room (spoiler: they’re sometimes not).

1. Don’t Go Alone

Bring a buddy. Not just for comfort, but as a witness. When you’re overwhelmed or dissociating, you’ll miss things — and so will they. A second pair of ears can help clarify what was actually said (and keep you from ugly crying in front of someone who doesn’t deserve your tears).

2. Play It Smart

Every appointment calls for a different approach.

• Push when it matters most.

• Educate when they’re open to new info.

• Exit gracefully when it’s clear they’re not worth the effort.

You’re not there to win an argument — you’re there to make progress. It’s not giving up — it’s conserving energy for the doctors who’ll actually listen.

3. Ask “Why?”

Simple questions reveal a lot:

“Why would that happen?” “What makes you say that?” “Can you explain the mechanism?”

If they freeze or get defensive, you’ve learned all you need to know. Lack of curiosity is a red flag.

4. The Science Gap

Some doctors act like medicine stopped evolving in 1998. If they dismiss peer-reviewed data with “I don’t believe in that,” it’s your cue to move on. The best specialists admit what’s new, what’s changing, and what they don’t yet know. That’s the humility you want.

5. Not Looking “Sick Enough”

Chronic illness turns masking into a survival skill. I’ve been told I “present well” while describing debilitating pain. Now I share how symptoms impact my worst days, not my average ones — and make sure that’s in writing.

6. Control the Paper Trail

Arrogant doctors edit reality. So keep your own record.

• Request every clinic letter and report.

• Note what was said (and what wasn’t).

• Correct errors with your GP in writing.

  Your file should tell your story — not their version.

7. Know When to Walk (and When to Report)

If they’re dismissive, inaccurate, or harmful, leave with something useful — a referral, test, or copy of results. Then, if needed, file a complaint. It’s not revenge; it’s protection for the next patient.

The Bottom Line

Arrogant doctors aren’t just annoying — they can be dangerous. Go in prepared, stay curious, document everything, and don’t waste energy convincing someone who’s not listening. The good ones exist — humble, curious, collaborative. And when you find them, they’re worth every exhausting appointment it took to get there.