I love when people say, “Just trust your doctor.”

Cute.

If I’d followed that advice blindly, I’d either be permanently debilitated or actually dead. Trust should be earned through competence and care, not assumed just because someone owns a stethoscope.

Let’s Talk About the Word “Trust”

Trust doesn’t mean you nod along while they mislabel your complex condition as “just anxiety.” It doesn’t mean you accept, without question, the GP who tells you you’re “too young” or “it’s too rare” for you to have that condition. It definitely doesn’t mean you stay quiet when your gut (the one screaming in agony) is telling you something isn’t right.

What They Should Say: Trust the Right Medical Professional

Trust the one who listens without ego. The one who says, “I don’t know, but let’s find out.” The one who sees you as a human being, not a walking Google symptom list or a “frequent flyer.” It took me YEARS to find those rare unicorns. And even then, trust isn’t passive. It’s a team sport. I bring my lived experience. They bring their training. We work together.

Red Flags > White Coats

Your doctor wears a white coat? Great. Do they also roll their eyes when you bring research? Not great. Do they dismiss your pain because your bloodwork is “fine”? Red flag. Do they talk more about their own opinions than your actual symptoms? Giant waving parade-sized flag.

It took me 20 years, but I am finally working with medical professionals that constantly say “there is no established pathway for what you have” or “there is a lot we don’t know”. The honesty and transparency is refreshing after dealing with doctors who were arrogant and misdiagnosed me for over two decades.

So What Do You Do Instead?

• Get second (and third) opinions. I had to go through four vascular surgeons before I found "the one".

• Ask questions, don’t be afraid to challenge and speak up.

• Say no thanks to any doctor that dismisses you, uses their opinion vs. solid medical literature or shuts you down when you bring reasonable questions or ideas to the party.

• Build a care team that actually cares and is knowledgeable in your area eg. EDS, ADHD, Chronic Fatigue.

• Optional - give feedback or report those ones that misguided you.

  
  

Trust Wisely. Advocate Fiercely.

So yeah, “Trust your doctor” sounds nice.

But trust yourself first.

Then go find the right doctors to trust.